Hi, my name is Jordan Ruiz Escobar Garcia, and I’m running for president of the world to get all of the money. If I am elected world president, I will have one singular goal, that unites my administration: getting me all money. My administration has a simple,
one-step process to achieve these goals. First – everybody gives me all their money. And that’s it! This is not a communist scheme to overthrow capitalism. I don’t wanna overthrow capitalism. I just wanna beat it! I just want all the money. I didn’t really think about it after that point! Now, you may ask: what am I going to do
with all of that money, once I have it? Well, I’m not going to spend a cent. That’s right: tax rates will be 100%,
and your roads will still be broken. Instead, I think I might just arrange the money in a big room or something, and try to swim through it. You know, it’s not really important what I’m gonna do with the money. The important thing is – I want the money,
I’ll get the money, you won’t have the money! I’m a big believer, that anyone can do what they set their mind to. And as far as I know, nobody’s ever set
their mind to collecting all the money. Well, I might be the first person that’s really able to do that, because for my whole life, I’ve only wanted one thing, and that is to get all the money. Now, you may ask: how does me getting all the money benefit you, the people? Well, the answer is… [pulls out a gun] Give me the money!
GIVE ME THE FUCKING MO– ♫ Give me the money ♫ ♫ This is a robbery, give me the fucking money ♫